Shadowlands
by max72
Summary: Bill and Laura take a long journey in their relationship. Challenge fic based on three quotes from the film Shadowlands AR
1. Chapter 1

_Spoilers for Season two – Epiphanies and Season Three – A day in the life. Direct quotes from both episodes._

_Thanks Ruth for the beta._

_Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended._

_This Story was inspired by a challenge made on AdamaRoslin group, to use these three quotes from the film Shadowlands._

_"Jack, don't you sometimes just bust to share the joke? Here's your friends thinking we're unmarried and up to all sorts of wickedness, when all along we're married and up to nothing at all."_

_"Will you marry this foolish, frightened old man... who needs you more than he can bear to say... who loves you, even though he hardly knows how?"_

_"How could Joy be my wife?... I'd have to love her, wouldn't I? I'd have to care more for her than anyone else in this world... I'd have to be suffering the torments of the damned, the prospect of losing her."_

_It became a bit of a monster so is split into four parts. Hope you enjoy!_

PART ONE 

_This starts in season two sometime after Resurrection Ship 1 and 2._

Bill Adama sat, holding Laura's hand, she was too weak now to stand and she lay in her cot, cocooned in blankets, looking pale and thin.

Today's topic of conversation between them seem to be "what if's" and "wished you'd done it" type, reminiscences.

Laura to Bill's surprise was waxing lyrical about how she would have loved to go hill walking. Frankly Bill couldn't quite see it, Laura had never been one to be untidy or scruffy in all the time they had known each other. He just couldn't picture Laura Roslin as the flask and anorak type. Then again, ill as she was, she had left younger men and women in her wake as she climbed the cold and wet terrain of Kobol. Laura obviously wished she had given it try, as, at the moment, she was going into great detail of how she always wanted to go up the mountain range just out Caprica City.

"Have you ever been?" She asked out of the blue, training her astute eyes upon him. Bill suddenly had a vision of being back at school and the teacher calling out, "You boy at the back are you paying attention?" well this time he was and answered swiftly hoping she didn't have a piece of chalk in her hand ready to throw it at him if he said the wrong answer.

"No," shaking his head at her.

"They said," She stated wistfully, "if you stood on the north face of the summit you could see the whole of Caprica City and if you looked to the south you could see the coastline in the distance and the sun reflecting off the sea, gave a beautiful light show of colours," she smiled as the vision filled her mind.

Her eyes turned to Bill again, watching as he sat a little forward in his seat so he could hear what she was saying clearly, smiling slightly at her; he had been a good companion these last few weeks, the last few weeks of her life she amended in fear.

"How about you?" She said, pulling her mind away from that train of thought.

This time Adama's concentration had been caught wandering, he had been taking in every feature of Laura's face and he could only manage a puzzled, "Mmn," at her question.

Laura raised her eyes and clarified, "Where do you wish you had been but never got the chance?"

"Oh, uhm," he said giving it some thought. "I guess I would have liked to spend more time on the other Colonies. I had so little time on land and most of it was spent in the same area. It seems so short sighted now!"

Laura nodded her head in understanding; if only they had known what they would all lose, perhaps they would have treated it with the respect it deserved.

There was a brief silence as the two contemplated all that had been lost.

Bill realising the morose topic wasn't good, tried to lighten the mood once more, unhappy with where the conversation had gone, he asked, "What else would you have liked to have done?"

"Oh," she smiled cheekily, "Just the usual, learnt to fly, play a musical instrument, got married."

Bill laughed and revealed smugly, "I did all of those!"

Laura laughed and asked in wonder, "You can play a musical instrument?"

"Well," Bill hesitated embarrassingly, "I used to be able to play a little piano, my father wanted me to learn as a child, I don't think it would stand up to much now."

She smiled, "You can do it all then."

"Yep, I can fly; well Vipers and Battlestars anyway, why didn't you, anyway?"

"What? Fly vipers?" She asked cheekily.

"No," he smiled, "Get married, I can't imagine you were short of offers?

She snorted, "You'd be surprised, men don't tend to go for the strong willed political types."

"I do," he smiled.

She laughed and said without thinking, "You're so desperate that you're sitting here with a dying woman."

Her humour went down cold as Bill looked stricken and looked down at the floor. Rule number one, Laura thought don't upset the visitors by mentioning you're dying too often. She reached across and touched his face, until he raised his head, "Sorry," she said.

He smiled sadly at her.

"Truthfully, I never met the right man. I guess my career was too important to me to take the time to look, you know in a male orientated political world, I felt I had to prove myself, always wanting to show that I was as good at my job as they were. Somewhere along the line my life slipped away."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I did it, I got married and then I frakked it up well and truly."

Laura grinned and questioned, "Was it a big wedding?"

"Mmn, mine?" he asked and continued as she nodded her head, "Yes it was, Carol Ann's parents were big in something or other, I don't remember now but they were always rather disappointed that their daughter brought home a pilot," he grinned at her, "not at all what they had in mind as marriage material."

She chuckled, "Look at that viper pilot now, only head of the military and the President's right hand man," she said and squeezed the hand that he was still holding.

"You know it's never too late," he said looking at her seriously.

She looked puzzled at him.

"To get married," he said simply.

She laughed out loud, "Who would marry me? I'm not exactly a good bet."

"I would," he said without a hint of humour.

"Bill, no," she shrieked, "I have no intention of getting married, just to say I did, before I die."

"Laura, I care for you deeply, I would find it an honour if you would marry me, I know that you aren't in love with me," he said looking down at the floor and quickly continuing before Laura could say anything, "But you are my best friend and my dearest companion and I would gladly spend whatever time you have left, as your husband."

Laura's eyes filled with tears at his words and shook her head.

"Laura, look at me," Adama said, waiting till she was looking directly at him, "Please, all I want is to make you happy."

"Bill," Laura was for once in her life lost for words. She shook her head, a hundred things running through her head and one thing burning through her soul. 'I don't need to be married to be happy and feel complete."

"I know that but..." Bill seemed to be struggling with his words and as she looked directly at him, she was shocked to see tears steaming down his face.

Laura ran her fingers down the side of his face wiping the tears that had trailed down. Their time had run out and although she could never regret the choices they had made, once again and for the final time she had put them ahead of her own happiness.

She came to a sudden decision and said quickly before she changed her mind, "Yes."

Bill looked puzzled for a second before he realised what she was saying, "Yes!" and grinned in delight. He couldn't have said why he had made the offer, he knew it wasn't a hasty decision, even if the idea had only just entered his head and now she had said yes, he was even more that it was the right thing to do.

Laura couldn't have told you why she had agreed to this either, but just looking at Bill Adama's face and how deeply he had felt, literally made her want to spend whatever time she had left in the company of this man, after all marriage was surely more about the friendship you shared than the physical side of things. Maybe if there had been more time their relationship would have moved in that direction, but that would have pushed up more issues, as things stood within the fleet that wouldn't have helped the situation.

_This is a little different for me so please let me know what you think._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for all the lovely reviews, Hope you enjoy this chapter and another one tomorrow._

PART TWO

So it was that in a rush of secrecy, a priest was arranged, the only witnesses were to be Billy and Lee.

Billy had been only too happy to stand with the President.

Lee Adama, who had quickly been told about the marriage only hours before it was actually due to take place, had agreed too. It would have to be said that he had not agreed without first airing his reservations about the whole thing.

Lee felt, as he watched the two together, that his father would need him in the coming weeks and he would willingly give him any help he could, when the time came and the President...

Lee couldn't even bring himself to say the word let alone deal with it and if he was struggling, how would his father survive?

So the scene was set, Laura was brought over to Galactica from Colonial One, It was not, unfortunately, unusual for Laura to be aboard the battlestar for long periods of time now that her disease had progressed to the final stage. If she were honest, the simple trip had tired her out, and Laura was forced to sit through most of the service, Bill knelt beside her, smiling like a schoolboy. To her surprise, Lee had produced a ring at the right moment. Bill had apparently found it, from somewhere and somehow, it had fit perfectly!

At the end of the intimate little service, Bill had kissed her lightly on the mouth and they had giggled slightly to break the tense atmosphere.

After the general handshaking and patting on the back, the two newly weds were left on their own. Laura's strength was waning and they sat together on Bill's couch, his arm wrapped around her fragile frame, her head resting gently on his shoulder. Later Bill would carry the sleeping form of Laura Roslin-Adama to his bed, tucking her in like a child, placing a kiss on her forehead and grabbing a blanket and pillow before settling himself on the couch.

Their were more nights like this, for which they were both grateful. During the day Laura would remove her wedding ring and get as much work done as her body would allow, at night whether she saw Bill or not she would replace the wedding band on her finger, often swirling it around in wonder as she lay trying to get to sleep.

Laura worked on through the good days and did the best she could on the bad, she was at heart a very organised person and she wanted to leave the Presidency in good shape for the next incumbent. Try as she might she couldn't imagine Baltar lasting long in the job. The man was unhinged and frankly lazy, the workload alone would have him running for the hills, a real fear was that he would be manipulated by the wrong crowd. The idiot was vain and power hungry, it wouldn't take much flattery to turn his head and that could spell danger for Bill!

She really feared for him. The extra time they had spent together since the wedding had been oddly happy, Laura was dying but they had only deepened the friendship that had been forged in battle. It was only companionship Laura kept telling herself, that was all it could ever be now, Bill had married her out of pity not love; she berated herself for her thoughts, that wasn't fair to him, he had been a worthy friend and now husband, not in the normal sense maybe but his unselfish act had brought her quite literally a shoulder to cry on and for that she was truly thankful.

The fear of dying had been replaced by sadness for missed opportunities and fear for the living after her death.

It was to this end that she had spoken to Lee Adama in private a few days ago, she knew he had not been keen on the marriage and she had finally wrangled the reason from Bill days after the ceremony, it was no surprise that he was worried for his father and she couldn't condemn him for that. So was she! They had talked openly about her death and although difficult for both, she had been reassured that Lee understood the impact it would have on his father and was willing to do everything he could to help his parent though what was sure to be a dark time.

Of course the crew of Galactica and Colonial One were not blind to the friendship that had built between their leaders but Lee and Billy were the only ones that had any idea of extent of the relationship.

Bill would be a widower that nobody knew about!

The time came all too quickly for everyone; Laura was rushed into life stations from her ship by Billy during the night, with breathing problems. Bill was quick to appear and stood back in fear, watching Cottle and his nurses rushed round the President trying to stabilise her readings. With a sigh of relief one by one they turned away as their President gained the upper hand for the moment but it was clear from their faces, Laura Roslin would not leave here again, these were her final hours of life.

Being a military leader for so long, you learnt to read faces, Bill picked up the looks of relief as Laura's breathing evened out but the looks quickly turned to dismay as they realised her time drew near.

Doctor Cottle took a deep breath and turned to the young man that had come in clutching the President's hand, "she's comfortable now son."

Billy nodded his head, wide eyed with fear and turned to Adama standing by the door. If he hoped to catch the eye of the Admiral he would have to be disappointed, as the Admiral never took his eyes from the still form laying in the bed. Cottle watched, as the President's aide looked towards the door, he had expected that the Admiral would come down to visit, hearing the news of the President's admission. What Cottle was unprepared for, was the devastated look upon Adama's face. The doctor walked quietly over to the Admiral, and stated gently looking back at the patient on the bed, "She doesn't have long."

If the Doctor was surprised by the small sound that was ripped from the Admiral's throat he didn't make any comment. He looked round the room as nurses checked and rechecked equipment each doing their jobs, Jack lifted his hand and placed it on Bill's arm and spoke to the Admiral.

"Let's go to my office for a minute, Admiral."

The gruff doctor was still forced to apply some gentle pressure to Adama's arm before his eyes broke away from the bed and he turned away and walked in a daze across life stations into the doctor's office all the while being steered by the hand of Jack Cottle.

Once the doctor had managed to guide the Admiral to a chair, he walked over to one of his wall cabinets, reached inside and brought out two glasses plus a bottle of ambrosia. Jack walked back to his desk, poured a small amount of liquid into each glass before placing one into Bill's hand and walking round to sit at his desk with the other.

Cottle's eyes narrowed as he watched the stunned Admiral, he sat hunched in the chair opposite him, the man was a picture of misery, he stared, head cast down into the moving liquid within his glass. It was moving the doctor noticed with concern because the Admiral's hands were actually shaking.

The doctor's brain was going into overtime, this was an extreme response, well for the usually calm stoic Admiral of the fleet it was.

It left Jack with little choice but to ask, he'd been surprised, by what he had found when he had examined the President; he had thought, maybe it was just a mistake, but now he was having his doubts, judging from the reaction of Bill Adama, the pieces of this puzzle were coming together but still Jack was hesitant to ask. It wasn't something you could get wrong especially with your commanding officer, even if he was the chief medical officer.

"Bill...Bill," Cottle raised he voice to get the Admirals attention, continuing when he was rewarded by the sight of Bill's eyes meeting his.

"Bill, I have to ask you this, I'm sorry...'' he hesitated a second before clearing his throat and ploughing on, "are you involved with the President?"

The question went unanswered, as Bill Adama simply continued to stare at the doctor as if in a trance.

Cottle sighed, he would have to go for the big guns and the information he had gained already.

"The President," again uncharacteristically struggling, he modified his words and said gently, "Laura was wearing a ring when she was brought in... Bill, a wedding ring."

Bill's eyes widen a fraction at that news. He turned his head away, he was surprised that Laura had been caught with it on, even as ill as she was, as he tried to think it through it all began to click into place as he realise, it was the middle of the night! She'd taken great delight in explaining to him one night as they sat huddled together on his couch, how she put her ring on as soon as the last meeting was finished with for the day and took it just after breakfast the next day. It didn't matter about Billy, of course, he knew all about it. Her aide's greatest fear, she had told Bill giggling, was that she would lose it!

Billy had no wish, apparently, to quote "Have to go through all your personal things'. As Laura told her husband this tale, they had both laughed together - especially as Laura had wickedly taken it to mean her knicker drawer.

Adama's head whipped back round at Cottle's next words.

"Bill, is Laura your wife?"

Bill's voice was a mere whisper as he looked down into his untouched glass again, "How could Laura be my wife?...I'd have to love her, wouldn't I? I'd have to care more for her than anyone else in this world... I'd have to be suffering the torments of the damned, at the prospect of losing her..."

The Admiral of the fleet looked up into the face of his friend with eyes full of tears and anguish. At that moment Cottle had no doubt that was exactly how Bill was feeling, the depths of the hole, Bill Adama was trapped and tormented in were clear to read all over his face.

"How long have you been married?"

Not bothering to deny it any longer, "Just a few weeks, I... I thought... it was supposed to be companionship... I never thought that..." He trailed off.

"Don't lie to yourself, Bill," Cottle said with some of his bluntness returning. "You are not losing a friend, you're losing your wife and no matter how this all started out, at least be honest with yourself, you love her, don't you?"

Adama lent forwards in his chair suddenly, blindly trying to reach forward with the glass of ambrosia to place it on the doctor's desk, it missed and clattered to the floor spilling the contents across its surface. Cottle with years of experience saw the signs instantly and dashed out of his chair to grab the nearest receptacle, shoving it under Adama's head. The Admiral was quick to put the bowl to good use as the doctor moved away to get his friend a glass of water. Once he was sure the Admiral had finished being sick he took the bowl and handed Bill the water and gripped Adama's shoulder briefly in support.

The Admiral sipped his water as the doctor came over and picked up the unbroken glass from the floor and run a cloth across the floor to wipe up the dark liquid.

"Sorry," Bill said in embarrassment.

The doctor waved away the apology.

The load speaker suddenly crackled out, "ADMIRAL ADAMA, REPORT TO CIC, I REPEAT ADMIRAL ADAMA REPORT TO CIC."

Cottle swore under his breath and looked at the pale faced Admiral, "you all right?"

Adama took a deep breath and stood, nodded his head before placing the glass of water onto the desk. As he turned, Cottle prevented him from going with a hand on his arm.

"You could do with a freshen up, why don't you use the sink in here, while I go see to my patients."

Adama stared at the doctor as if waiting for more and then nodded once, curtly and turned towards the small sink in the corner of the room.

Before leaving, Jack spoke softly, "you know if you need someone to...?"

He wasn't allowed to finish as Bill interrupted sharply, "yes, thank you, Doctor."

Leaving the doctor with nothing else he could say, he left quietly and as he got involved with checking notes and patients, he didn't hear or see the Admiral leave.

Cottle: I don't like what you're doing. I think it's unnatural and damned dangerous.

Baltar: Yes, well, given the patient's current condition, I am not sure that I see the downside.

Cottle: Maybe it's just her time.

Baltar: Then for once...perhaps I am the beacon of hope around here.

Baltar prepares the blood to be administered to Roslin.


	3. Chapter 3

**PART THREE **

_New Caprica _

Laura walked, slightly grumpily towards the doctor's tent, if she heard another wolf whistle come in her direction she might just scream. Throwing the canvas door open she startled the man inside.

"GOD'S woman, a man could have a heart attack with that entrance," the doctor said swinging round from the table he was sitting, back facing the doorway.

"Stop being so melodramatic, Jack," Laura said irritably.

"Someone had a good night then," Jack Cottle responded in sarcastically, "Little hung over are we?"

Laura sighed and sat down at the table and put her head in her hands.

"Groundbreaking day whose frakking idea was that anyway?" She asked bitterly.

"Well, I heard the Admiral had first mentioned the idea as a sort of morale booster but Baltar decided to take the thing over and call it his own."

"Bill? I might have known it was his plan," she grumbled.

Jack took a chance and said cheekily, "You two looked quite cosy together, last night, I thought."

Laura snorted with annoyance, "So does everybody else it seems."

Oh great, Jack thought, a lovers tiff. Only trouble being those two weren't actually lovers. Bizarrely married, but not together, strange but true.

Somehow beyond his reason, the two of them had frakked it all up.

After Roslin's miraculous cure, the easier of two options had been for the pair to consummate their joining and live happily ever after, Bill he knew was head over heels with the woman, Laura although he had never discussed it with her, he had the feeling, she wasn't too far behind, it wasn't because there were smouldering looks, more because of the lack of them.

Their first meeting, which he had witnessed, after she came round in life stations had been damn odd. She'd been cold, back to business straight away. Jack had the feeling it was a case of 'Nip it in the bud' and Laura was holding him at arms' length. Bill, of course, completely blind, had taken that and run with it. They were friends, good friends, best friends but that was all. Now however Laura was looking a little flustered and Bill's name was mud, because Laura for once had relaxed in his company, they had spent a very pleasurable evening together fallen asleep together in each others arms and reawakened emotions long since bottled up. Just my luck Cottle thought, she comes knocking on my door with it!

"Mmn," Jack said, drawing her out, while fumbling to draw a cigarette out of the packet.

"I apparently fell asleep on Bill's shoulder now I can't walk through the square without some kind of comment or whistle, I mean did the whole population of New Caprica come over and gawp at us?"

Cottle smiled at the vision. Wondering if anyone had caught it on camera!

"Oh I'm so glad this amuses you," Laura snapped when she saw him smirking.

He ignored her and inhaled deeply before exhaling the smoke in a cloud causing Laura to cough slightly.

"Where the hell do you get them from anyway?" The former president asked crossly waving her hand in distaste at the cigarette dangling out of his mouth.

Cottle turned his glaze on Laura and said, "You can leave anytime you like, Miss Snotty."

"I hate you, you know that right?" she replied.

"Feeling's mutual I'm sure," he smiled.

She grinned back, "Jack, don't you sometimes just bust to share the joke? Here's the fleet thinking we're unmarried and up to all sorts of wickedness, when all along we're married and up to nothing at all."

"Laura listen to me, people think that because they want you both to be happy, what's stopping you?" the doctor asked sincerely.

"We can't," she said with alarm.

"WHY?" Cottle said losing some patience.

"I'm the..." the words died on her lips.

Jack hand came across the table to hold her hand, "Why?"

She shook her head, "I don't even know if Bill feels the same."

Jack laughed out loud, "Gods, you two need your heads banging together."

"Seriously, I have no idea..."

Cottle didn't let her finish, "He loves you."

Laura looked up in disbelieve, and shook her head ready to deny it.

"He as good as told me, when you lay in life stations with hours to live, he was devastated."

"As a friend," Laura insisted.

"No."

"He never told me."

"Did you give him a chance?"

Laura sat stunned, looking down at the table.

She thought back, once she had come round after the injection of Cylon blood, she was in shock, frankly she wasn't even sure she was happy, in many ways she had come to accept her impending death - her worries were for those left alive, they were the ones forced to struggle on. So when she had seen Bill for the first time walking in somewhat hesitantly, she had panicked, she was scared, they had shared so much together when the disease was ravaging her body, it hadn't mattered then - but now what? She couldn't allow the relationship to continue along the same vein, she was the President, he was the Admiral. She'd had a run in with death. Another chance at life, but it was no longer her life she had lived that, this was her chance to be better, to serve her people. So she had slapped him down and left no room for doubt. She remembered the conversation clearly,

Bill had stood to the side of the bed hands folded in front of him, "You seem better."

She had smiled politely but got to business, "Much. Are you still holding the spokesman from the new faction in the brig?"

If he had been surprised he didn't show as he'd answered, "Yes."

"Would you take me to him, please?"

" Certainly," he replied without tone.

"Thank you."

" I'll wait for you to get dressed, " and with those few words they had set the boundaries. She had set the boundaries, Laura corrected herself.

Laura realised that she had been sitting here next to Jack Cottle for sometime, in silence, he had that smirk of his down to perfection she thought as she looked across at him. She'd been furious when Bill had told her that Jack knew about the wedding, as far as she could see at that time it was just one more complication. He had been apologetic and explained about the ring, so she couldn't really blame him.

She was glad of it now, somehow Jack had become a closer friend because of it. He was the only one of them that she felt comfortable with speaking about the marriage, especially now down here without Bill.

She was more than thankful that she and Bill had somehow remained friends through it all, she always felt it was because they literally never discussed it. The President had put the ring away in her desk drawer, every time the thing was opened it was in her sight but she never took it out and NEVER put it on.

"No, I guess I didn't," she said in thought.

"So… what do you intend to do about it, young lady?"

She smiled sadly, "What can I do about it; we're further away from each other than ever before."

"He comes down here," Cottle tried to reason.

"Once a month at best, even if he wanted to Baltar's cronies keep him on a tight leash, he was telling me how every shuttle fight has to be logged and accounted for. Baltar's group realised very early on the power Bill held and have gone out of there way to undermine him. The easiest way is to keep him in the air."

"Love can conquer all Laura," Jack smiled.

"Yes and long distance relationships never work," she said raising her eyebrows. "I think until Bill makes the decision to come down here for good, then its best that I don't complicate matters."

"If what you say is true will he be able to make that decision?" Jack questioned and winked at her, "I'm sure that decision would come about quicker if you gave him a bit of encouragement."

"Jack you're a rogue at heart," she laughed and got up to leave.

Jack commented dryly as he stubbed out his cigarette, just before she left, "You should consider, Miss, that the wolf whistles have nothing to do with last night and more to do with the sexy teacher look."

As she left Cottle remarked to himself, "Damn fools, not as if they're teenagers anymore."


	4. Chapter 4

PART FOUR

_Season Three, A Day in the life, and onwards._

"The cancer's back."

It was a simple stark sentence, but it carried so much weight. There was no question of not telling him this time. No, Bill Adama was the very first person Laura had come running to. He had stood in utter shock for a few seconds, much as she had when Jack Cottle had said the very same words to her. Bill looked to the floor, needing to clarify his thoughts. When his head lifted Laura was taken aback by the fierce emotion burning through his eyes.

"Marry me," he said passionately, his voice catching on the words.

Laura was hit by a moment of deja'vu, and stood puzzled by his sentence. This was not the reaction she had expected - maybe a hug, a pat on the head, a 'there, there, you'll be fine' - something along those lines. Not marry me, certainly not from the man she was already married to anyway! It may only be a title but neither of them had ever thought about removing it.

Their story was a bitter tale of missed opportunities and bad timing, ironically they had never been happier or more like a couple than when she had been dying of cancer the first time, Laura agreed to the marriage, somewhat selfishly because she hadn't wanted to die alone.

Those last few weeks of her life, as she had known they would be, had been painful but what she hadn't expected was the pleasure, Bill had been wonderful, he had held her, stroked her hair, run off to get glasses of water, anything she needed or wanted he would get. He had never complained of the burden he had taken on, he was always there for her.

Then she had been… well she couldn't say cured anymore could she but the cancer had receded and she had to take on the mantle of leader again. Just as he had accepted his role as husband, he once again accepted the role of her military leader and truth be told they never spoken about it.

Ironically Bill had brought up their time on New Caprica just the other day; the conversation was imprinted on her brain clearly.

"Do you ever think about the times much o­n New Caprica?" Adama had asked, out of the blue, fingering the book she had just given him.

**"**I try to think about the good times, yes I do," she said honestly.

"O­ne particular memory stands out in my mind," he said smiling slightly, "You were wearing a really bright red dress. Said you wanted to build a cabin."

She smiled remembering the meeting, "It was Baltar's Groundbreaking ceremony. I got a little silly that night."

Bill looked down at the floor nodding his minutely, she thought, he seemed a little disappointed by her answer, "You ever wonder what would've happened if the Cylons hadn't have come back?"

This was new... are we actually going to talk about us, Laura wondered, "I think given Baltar and the terrain we couldn't have made a go of it. What about you? Do you think you would have stayed o­n Galactica? Or do you think you would have settled?"

"It's pretty hypothetical, isn't it?"

Such a safe answer. Laura nearly sighed out loud in frustration, at what stage had they become so cagey with each other, which one of the disappointments had hit so hard they avoided even thinking about them.

**"**It is. Until it isn't," she laughed at her silly words, "Did I just say that?"

Bill smiled widely,** "**It's worth it just seeing you laugh like that."

He continued in a more serious weary tone, "We've been at war so long sometimes we forget what we're fighting for. Raise our kids in peace, enjoy o­ne another's company. Live life as people again."

"Like that night o­n New Caprica, that's really what we are talking about here now, isn't it?"

She remember his warm body against hers as they lay on those sandbags, not the most comfortable of places but she wouldn't have swapped it for a palace, it was the closest they had been since those weeks of illness on Galactica.

**"**That, and... Other times..." Bill said rather wistfully.

She could help asking,** "**So if the Cylons hadn't come back?" It was a question that had burned through her for so long.

Bill smiled sadly and said,** "**But they did. We have certain responsibilities."

Laura smiled, it always came back to that didn't it, and responded with more humour than she felt, "Yes, we do, sir. And uh, I will be back in a few days, and if you'd like, we can... talk more about that night."

She walked over to the hatch and turned suddenly before saying with certainty, "Bill? waiting for him to lift his head, "The answer's yes. I absolutely would've built the cabin."

As she walked away from the room her thoughts drifted back to New Caprica, she remembered the conversation Jack Cottle and her had the morning after that night with Bill on the sandbags.

She had been a little unsure of Bill's feelings at the time, the good Doctor had quite literally spelt it out for her and once she'd got her head round the situation and the excitement! She had started to make plans for the future and they all included one William Adama, but those plans needed Bill on the ground, not as the Admiral of the fleet and as Baltar's mental state deteriorated, his paranoia kicked in and the Admiral found it harder and harder to get onto solid ground. Laura smiled sadly as she thought back, that had been her biggest mistake, she hadn't wanted to make things more difficult for him by announcing all her hopes and dreams for their future, no, she had thought they would have plenty of time when he was allowed to retire but that never happened, the Cylons happened and Bill was forced to jump away.

She always had hoped that he would be back, but the ache she felt deep down at the distance that now separated them was huge. At least when he circled above her head she could imagine him looking down upon her. Now she was truly alone and for the first time in so long he wasn't by her side.

She was brought back to the present as Bill came forward and stood directly in front of her.

"Laura, I can't continue with this any longer, watching you but not touching, standing by your side but not lying with you, if you don't feel that way too, then tell me, Laura, Tell me."

She shook her head, unprepared for his words.

"We have let this mission dictate the way we have lived our lives," he said in desperation before continuing on more fiercely, "I refuse to allow that to happen anymore, I refuse to ignore my feeling towards you and I refuse to step away from you ever again."

"I do," she said in a mere whisper, looking up at him with unshed tears in her eyes. "I do feel that way, I love you, Bill, I always have."

He raised his hands to take hold of both her arms, "I'm sorry…" he said his voice breaking, "I have been such a coward."

"No," Laura tried to interject.

"I have, I should have done this a long time ago, but I was scared of the answer you would give me."

She reached forward and placed her finger on his lips to stop the recriminations, "Ssh," she said, after all she was no innocent in this.

They leant forward together and they kissed gently for the first time. Bill stepped away suddenly, to Laura's regret.

He only took one step back though and to her surprise took hold of left hand and said emotionally, "Will you marry this foolish, frightened old man... who needs you more than he can bear to say... who loves you, even though he hardly knows how?"

Her free hand whipped up to her mouth at the words and a startled gasp left her lips. She looked through tear filled eyes as Bill stood waiting for her answer. Afraid that her voice would let her down she nodded her head and stepped forward to hug her wonderful husband and husband to be.

The End.

_Well that's it folks, hope you enjoyed!_


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